Infomercials

I don't really like infomercials. I find them ridiculous. Every time I watch one, some smooth-talking salesperson is trying desperately to sell me something that I really don't want or need. It's always a product that you know is too good to be true. You know what I'm talking about: some cleaning solution that will make your home/car/laundry cleaner than ever, a cream to rid your face of wrinkles, an exercise video that will make you look like a supermodel, some book that shows you how to get rich quick through real estate investments...I could go on. And on. What's most annoying about infomercials is how they make you think your life will somehow be so much better if you buy what they're selling. Many times, they even include freebies to try to entice you. And if you ever do give in to the smooth-talking salesperson, you find out soon enough that what you bought is really no good at all. It hasn't made your life better. In fact, it's made it worse because now you feel foolish and you're out the money. I've learned my lesson, and am now skeptical of anything pitched to me through infomercials. Though sometimes I still catch myself watching infomercials, I don't buy things featured on them anymore because, products sold on infomercials turn out to be disappointing and never what I need.

Tonight, I found myself watching yet another, ridiculous infomercial. It was a lot like other ones I've seen in the past. It had a smooth-talking salesperson, touching stories, promises of an improved life, even background music. I wasn't fooled this time though! I knew that what this smooth-talking salesperson was trying desperately to sell me was once again not at all what I needed. I knew it wouldn't make my life better. It would make it worse. Voting for, I mean purchasing what was available on this infomercial would also come with freebies like universal health care, the right to choose to terminate an innocent life, same-sex marriage...I could go on. And on. But none of those things will in any way enhance my life. Barack Obama, I mean this smooth-talking salesperson, even tried to entice me with the promise of lower taxes. (Now, I know that's too good to be true. Democrats don't lower taxes. Doi!) But lower taxes aren't enough to entice me to buy what he is selling, anyway. Remember, I learned my lesson about infomercials and I don't want to make a foolish vote, I mean purchase, because things featured on infomercials turn out to be disappointing and never what I need.

Before you make a foolish purchase, I mean vote, check out some of these topics and how they relate to Barack Obama:

infanticide - abortion
William Ayers
Acorn
socialism
spreading the wealth (possibly yours)
universal health care
off-shore drilling

I could go on. And on.

I would just feel terrible if anyone made a bad vote, I mean purchase, as a result of a misleading infomercial.

Grandpa Great

Last Saturday we went to visit Leer's Grandpa(Chloe & Myah's Great Grandpa). We LOVE him. You would too if you knew him. For your reading enjoyment, (and for my posterity) allow me to share some of my favorite things about him along with some pictures we took while we were there.

My favorite thing about him is his house and barns. Everything he has is old. He has several barns and garages that are filled with old farm tools, old military uniforms, old bicycles, old furniture, old soda bottles, old rollerskates, old typewriters, old toys and games, old books...really anything you could possible think of, but old. It's like taking a step back in time. However, he always has a NEW, fancy truck.









No, actually my favorite thing about him is that the Gospel is an essential part of his life. The scriptures are always sitting on the table next to his recliner. He is always willing to serve. He served as the bishop in their ward for over 6 years, and has also been a counselor in the bishopric and a High Councilman. He was instrumental in helping to get the Stake Center built in their small town.

Or maybe my favorite thing about him is that he's a really good grandpa and I feel like he's my OWN grandpa. (I didn't really ever get to know my own grandparents very well considering I was the very last grandchild born on both sides of my family. My grandparents have all passed on.) He's always been kind to me and is always genuinely interested in what we're doing. He is sharp and keeps up on current events like politics, the economy, cars, and of course, BYU football and the Utah Jazz. When you visit with him, it's like talking to someone who's your own age, not someone who has lived 83 years. He remembers to send birthday and Christmas cards to Jason. He will sit patiently and listen while Myah shows him how she can count to 100. He is never grumpy.



No, my favorite thing about him has to be that he's a REAL cowboy. Picture the Marlboro man, without the coffee, cigarettes and alcohol. He has owned and maintained a 250 acre cattle ranch all his life and still does this back-breaking work EVERYDAY (remember he's 83). He was raised on this farm and bought it from his dad and this is how he supported his family. This is the only life he's ever known and he loves it.






Well, my favorite thing about him could be that he's popular. He has lots of friends. You would want him to be your friend too. He's always telling stories about his friends and you can tell he truly enjoys their companionship. And I love that his friends all have "cowboy" names like: Jarvis, Garn, LeRoy, etc. He is the one that they call when they need something like a ride to Priesthood or to know how to program their cable box. He is a loyal and reliable friend.

No, this is my favorite thing about him: his name is Grover. Yes. I said Grover. Grover Childs. It's awesome! We call him Grandpa Great. And he is GREAT!

Truly, my most favorite thing about him is the example he is to us. He lovingly took care of his wife who suffered from Parkinson's Disease for over 35 years. He never complained about having to take care of her and you could tell how much he truly loved her. She passed away a few years ago and he misses her terribly.

We need to be better about visiting him more often.


Me and Myah.


Me and Chloe.

Ryan and the girls on the 4wheeler.

Jason and his brother Ryan. He's single, ladies. Not Jason...Ryan.

I've been known to shoot guns on occasion when we've visited the farm. Turns out I have pretty good aim. Just puttin' it out there.

Childs Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Old photos - Family pictures

Childs Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Kids'll Say The Darndest Things!

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Chloe: "You know...some kids don't have funny moms."

Myah: "GO TO BED!"
2. What makes mom happy?

Chloe: The cards I make you.

Myah: When you play wis me and I give you kisses, and I say "I love you", and we do puzzles.

3. What makes mom sad?
Chloe: Ummm, when I don't clean my room.

Myah: When I don't play wis mommy.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Chloe: When she says, "you look so pretty, like model...cheerleader...something pretty!"
Myah: When she puts funny teeth in her.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

Chloe: How do I know that??? Huh???

Myah: Oh, just so cute.

6. What is her favorite thing to do?

Chloe: Cook.

Myah: Make flower barrettes.

7. What does your mom do when you're not around?

Chloe: Call people.

Myah: Just go on the computer.

8. What is your mom really good at?
Chloe: Making cards.

Myah: Playing wis me. She's good at winning me.

9. What is your mom not very good at?

Chloe: You're not good at knowing what boys like.

Myah: Knowing how to make chocolate chip cookies. Really you're not. You just know chocolate chips go in em.

10. What does your mom do for her job?

Chloe: Makes dinner.

Myah: Be's nice to dad.

11. What is your mom's favorite food?

Chloe: What is it? I think it's salad.

Myah: Orange Chicken I fink. Or Red Chicken, ok?

12. What makes you proud of your mom?

Chloe: She takes me to school.

Myah: Let me fink...when I clean my room and she likes it. I don't have a big closet you know.

13. What do you and your mom do together?

Chloe: Play Skip-Bo. And Phase 10.

Myah: Umm, we like to play and we like to look at baby pictures.

14. How are you and your mom the same?

Chloe: We both have green eyes.

Myah: We look like eechudder.

15. How are you and your mom different?

Chloe: You have yellow hair.

Myah: We don't have big hands togedder and you don't wear sparkle toes.

16. How do you know your mom loves you?
Chloe: She buys things for us.

Myah: Cuz she has a heart.

17. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

Chloe: Umm, Sweet Tomatoes.

Myah: Our house.

Dear Leer,

Thank you for the shiny new computer. I really enjoy typing with BOTH hands now instead of having to hold the computer cord in awkward positions being so careful not to move even a hair while typing with my other hand. This shiny new computer doesn't burn my leg when I use it either. It even turns off/on every time I push the power button. And thanks for transferring all my pictures and itunes over to my shiny new computer and for setting up my email in such a spectacular new way. You are my most favorite computer nerd. My life would be so much less technical without you. And technically, I love my life with you.

Now, if I could only figure out how to print...

Get Busy!

We are in trouble.
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are...
Sitting on your behind...At your computer...
Reading jokes/my blog.

Nice.
Real nice.

Do You Haiku Too?

hai·ku [hahy-koo]
–noun, plural -ku for 2.
1. a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature or one of the seasons.
2. a poem written in this form.

The other night we went out to eat at Chili's. I confess I'm a people watcher and enjoyed watching a young couple on a date. (I'm guessing a first date by the awkward body language.) I noticed the guy had a shirt with writing on it. So, curious, as we were leaving, I walked slowly enough so that I could read it. It said:

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

Chloe and I had a good laugh about that one. Anyways, I didn't want to forget about that funny shirt...and so I post.

I'll also take this opportunity to share some Haiku poems that my little Chloe has written. You see, she's quite the poet (I'm biased, I know). Prepare to be amazed:

Butterfly

by Chloe Childs

She flies through the sky

Oh how beautiful she is

What a sight she is

Rain

by Chloe Childs

Pitter patter rain

Falling from the sky down, down

Oh so beautiful

Mushrooms

by Chloe Childs

Growing on the ground

Spotted, striped and growing slow

Grow mushrooms, grow now

The Beach

by Chloe Childs

It is very fun

Playing in the sun all day

Collecting seashells

And while I'm at it, here's her newest poem for your reading enjoyment. This one's not a Haiku, but totally blogworthy. I think it's really cute.

My White Kitty

by Chloe Childs

My white kitty is soft and cute.

She likes it when I play the flute.

She plays all day and then I say,

"I'll love you, Kitty, always."

And then I tuck her into bed,

"Meow, I love you too!" she said.

Precious, I know. And to think...we don't even have a white kitty or a flute! I love having Chloe for my daughter! (sigh)

Star Mill

Me and Myah took my parents to the Star Mill in American Fork on Tuesday. They have tons of cool antiques. Sadly, though, they're only open on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so I wasn't able to purchase anything. But it was still fun to look at all the treasures and take some fun pictures of Myah and some of the sights there.

Lindsey, we need to go here next time you come to visit.

I See Dead People

We recently went to see the Body Worlds exhibit that's in town right now at The Leonardo. For those who don't know, there are people who donate their bodies to be used in this travelling exhibit. The process they use to preserve the bodies is called plastination. You are literally looking at dead people. Sounds kind of gruesome, I know, but it was awesome. It was so interesting to see the inner workings of the human body. Such intricacy! While the exhibit is purely scientific in nature, on a spiritual level it reconfirmed for me what I already know - that we are products of a Divine Creator. Our bodies are amazing and each and every blood vessel, muscle, tendon, nerve, and organ was placed precisely where it is and functions as it does because that is how God intended it to be.

President Hinckley said:

"I have in my home a reasonably good sound system. I do not use it frequently, but now and again, I sit quietly in the semidarkness and listen for an hour or so to music that has endured through the centuries because of its remarkable qualities. I listened the other evening to Beethoven’s Concerto for the Violin and marveled that such a thing could come of the mind of a man. The composer, I suppose, was very much like the rest of us. I do not know how tall he was or how broad he was or how much he weighed. I assume that he got hungry, felt pain, and had most of the problems that we all have, and maybe some that we do not have. But out of the genius of that mind came a tremendous blending to create rare and magnificent masterpieces of music.
Have you ever contemplated the wonder of yourself, the eyes with which you see, the ears with which you hear, the voice with which you speak? No camera ever built can compare with the human eye. No method of communication ever devised can compare with the voice and the ear. No pump ever built will run as long or as efficiently as the human heart. What a remarkable thing each of us is.
Look at your finger. The most skillful attempt to reproduce it mechanically has brought only a crude approximation. The next time you use your finger, look at it, and sense the wonder of it. While sitting in Symphony Hall listening to a concert, I was in a position to see the fingers of the performers in the orchestra. Every one, whether playing the strings, the percussion instruments, the brass, the woodwinds—all used their fingers. One does not have to use one’s fingers to sing or whistle, but beyond that, there would be little of musical harmony without the deft action of trained fingers.
I believe the human body to be the creation of Divinity. George Gallup once observed, “I could prove God statistically. Take the human body alone—the chance that all the functions of the individual would just happen is a statistical monstrosity.” Our bodies were designed by our Eternal Father to be the tabernacle of our eternal spirits."


Here are some examples of what you see there:






Go check out this exhibit while it's here. Caution: Not for the faint of heart.

Getting To Know You

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00
2. Diamonds or Pearls? YES!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Kit Kittredge
4. If you were to get a tattoo? I would never get a tattoo.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Flax Plus with frozen blueberries on it.
6. What is your middle name? Joyce
7. What food do you dislike? mushrooms, can't even stand the thought of them
8. What is your favorite CD? Right now it's Adele but it changes often
9. What kind of car do you drive? Explorer
10. What is you favorite sandwich? Reuben
11. What characteristics do you despise? People who lie and people who are negative
12. Favorite item of clothing? Jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Hawaii
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Don't really have one.
15. Where would you like to retire? Coronado Island off of San Diego
16. Favorite candy/candy bar? Junior Mints
17. Favorite magazine? Good Housekeeping
20. Person you expect to send this back first? Carlye
21. When is your birthday? May 24th
22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
23. Any Pets? When they make a pet that doesn't poop, then I'll get one.
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Not at this time.
25. What mood are you in today? TRYING to be pleasant.
26. What is your favorite flower? Easter Lily
27. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to and why? Halloween
28. What is your full name? You know what it is.
29. What are you listening to right now? The popping sound from the Trouble game
30. What was the last thing you ate? Some pumpkin bread
31. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Leer
32. Favorite soft drink? I don't drink alot of pop, but I can't pass up a root beer float.
33. Favorite restaurant? Costa Vida or Mimi's
34. What was your favorite childhood toy? My Cabbage Patch Doll Erica Lorraine
36. What is under your bed? The leaf for my table and a whole lot of dust
37. What did you do last night? Played games with my mom
38. What are you afraid of? Bears and aliens
39. Salty or Sweet? sweet
40. How many keys are on your key ring? 3
41. How many years at your current job? don't have one
42. Favorite day of the week? I've always liked Thursdays, don't know why
43. How many towns have you lived in? 8
44. Do you make friends easily? I try
45. How many people will you send this to? none, post it on your blog if you want to
46. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? Yabetcha! I'm kind of nosey that way.

Secret

Myah: (Excited) Mom! Mom! Let me put a secret in your ear!

Me: (Bending down) Okay, okay. What?

Myah: I love you!

Leaf Me Alone

Scudderia Furcata

We've seen several of these leaf bugs in the yard recently. I guess they are commonly known as Katydids. Nice expression, Learnus.

Cascade Springs

Saturday, we spent the day in American Fork Canyon. Learl loves to spend time in the mountains and this was a perfect day to go. We picnicked, hiked, saw lots of beautiful scenery, and had a great time just being together. Some of the leaves are already starting to change colors. I guess fall is upon us.

Kennecott Copper Mine

My parents and the girls in front of a really big tire...

that goes on a really big dump truck.





This is blogworthy...right? We took my parents up to the copper mine on Friday. It was pretty interesting. Did you know you can see the mine from space? Next time you're in space, look out your window and see if you can see it.

Remembering

September 11, 2001, was one of those days in history where everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing when the attacks happened. I remember I had just gone jogging, came back to my apartment and turned on the news (just like every other day) and was absolutely horrified at what I was seeing. I watched the first tower fall and was talking on the phone to Leer when the second tower fell. I have never felt so shocked and helpless. I just sat there and sobbed. Those images are forever ingrained in my memory. I think maybe the next day was even worse though when I woke up and realized it wasn't some horrible nightmare. Plus, that's when the media started playing all the recorded messages that the victims had left for their families and loved ones. I didn't personally know anyone, even remotely, who died that day, but I sure felt an overwhelming sadness for all those who were directly affected by the attack. I still feel sad for them. That is why I go to the Healing Fields every year. Myah and I took my parents over there this year to look at all the flags. Each flag represents either someone who was killed on 9/11 or a soldier that has been killed fighting in The War on Terror. There are thousands of flags. I think Myah said it best. When we turned the corner and she saw all the flags, she said, "Mom, there's too many flags". I wish there were no flags to go look at but as long as there are, I will go and walk around with a lump in my throat, trying to hold back the tears. I don't want the soldiers who have died for America, or those who were killed on 9/11 to be forgotten. I will never forget.